Motivation : What Is It And Where Do I Find It ?

Ever wondered what happens to our motivation when it seems to disappear? This week, I explore where motivation really comes from, why progress continues even when it feels gone, and how I’m building something more sustainable for the long term.

Motivation : What Is It And Where Has Mine Gone ?

“As long as you don’t quit, motivation still exists — even in silence.”

I’m a bit lost this week. I don’t really know where this challenge is going anymore, and I think that’s because I don’t fully understand what’s driving it right now.

I thought I was lacking motivation — that I’d somehow lost it — but when I looked more closely at what I’d actually achieved this week, it was clear that motivation was still there somewhere. Quiet, maybe, but definitely present.

So what’s really going on?

"I feel like I’ve stepped back from the challenge, yet my actions suggest the opposite."

That contradiction made me realise I needed to look more seriously at motivation itself — what it actually is, and where it comes from.

⚖ Two Sources of Motivation

It turns out motivation generally comes from two places.

📣 External motivation

This is driven by pressure, expectations, or outcomes outside of ourselves.

For me, that includes:

• Wanting to be healthy enough for a transplant

• Wanting to be liked

• Wanting to be seen as coping or “doing okay”

• Wanting to meet expectations — my own and other people’s

My external motivation was powerful at the start of this challenge. It gave me urgency and structure. I told everyone what I was doing and kept going partly because I didn’t want to look like a failure. I set goals others would recognise as progress. I made schedules that allowed me to pretend everything was under control.

But I’m learning that this kind of motivation is fragile — and not sustainable. When energy dips or life gets busy, it starts to fade.

And I think that’s where I am now.

💭 Internal motivation

So if my external motivation is no longer carrying me, why am I still here? Why am I still taking steps to improve my situation?

There is clearly some motivation still at work — just not the loud, visible kind.

"Internal motivation comes from a deeper place: the desire to grow, evolve, and become more fully yourself."

It’s about alignment — matching who you are internally with how you live externally. When the two are closer together, you feel more at ease, more grounded, and more content.

It’s quieter than external motivation, but far more sustainable.

🌫 When Motivation Fades but Goals Still Matter

At the start, my external motivation gave me momentum, clarity, and a strong sense of purpose. But as the days unfolded and life demanded attention — illness, fatigue, emotion, routine — that initial spark naturally faded.

That didn’t mean my goals stopped mattering. It just meant I needed to understand why they still mattered.

So this week, instead of forcing myself to push harder, I decided to pause and ask better questions.

🔎 Finding the Source Again

Over the coming week, I’m going back to my original goals — not to rewrite them, but to understand if and why they matter to me personally.

I need to understand if, and why, my goals really matter to me.

I want to notice:

• When I feel most alive, focused, and fulfilled

• When I feel drained, distracted, or resistant

Because even in a week where I felt disconnected, I still:

• Tried different social media posts

• Stayed alcohol-free

• Started creating a Valentine’s collection for the business

• Continued to socialise

• Kept cooking from scratch

At the same time, I didn’t:

• Exercise

• Take the visualisation process seriously

• Take my medication properly

None of this is about judgement — it’s about understanding. If my goals are rooted in internal motivation, they’ll last. If they’re based only on pressure or expectation, they’ll keep slipping away.

To help with this, I’ve created a “Find My Why” worksheet, which I’ll be working through over the coming week. I’ll share more about it soon, and if it proves useful, I’ll make it available to anyone who wants it.

🔕 Motivation Isn’t Always Loud

Motivation isn’t always bold, energetic, or inspiring. Sometimes it’s so quiet you barely notice it.

It shows up:

• As a steady pull rather than a spark

• As consistency rather than excitement

• As a calm decision to keep going

The desire to change doesn’t have to be dramatic — but it does have to be true.

"To stay motivated, I don’t need a perfect plan. I need a reason that feels real."

🤦‍ Moving Forward Without Certainty

I won’t pretend I feel completely clear or confident this week. I don’t.

There’s doubt. There’s frustration. There’s uncertainty about whether I’m doing this “right."

"But imperfect times don’t require perfect clarity — they just require movement".

So for now, I’m focusing on:

• Small wins

• Small steps

• Rhythm and routine

• Creating moments to reconnect with what I actually want and need.

Understanding motivation may not solve everything, but it’s helping me feel more comfortable sitting with the uncertainty of where this challenge is heading.

And for this week, I’m taking that as progress.

— Linda