Week 2 - Facing Myself : What I Want To Change And Why It's Hard.

Having decided to change my life in six months, this week has been about looking really hard at myself and asking what I want to change and why it feels such a difficult thing to achieve. The week proved to be a lot tougher than I ever expected.

When I started my six-month reset, I thought the hardest part would be getting organised and being motivated to learn new things like opening an X account or designing the blog site. But, despite struggling big time with the technical side of this, it turns out the real challenge was being honest with myself and why I’ve been stuck.

Seeing Myself Clearly

Facing my faults and bad habits has been uncomfortable. I’ve used distraction, avoidance and alcohol as coping mechanisms for years – ways to escape feeling lost or overwhelmed. In more recent years I’ve also used living with kidney failure and bipolar disorder as an excuse not to try, not to go out and not to bother.

Looking critically at myself has made me sad. I realised how quickly I jump to negatives. I can list what’s wrong with me in seconds. But when I try to name the good things, I freeze. My list of negatives was so long  I honestly asked myself, “Why would anyone even like me?”

My Mind Map

So this week, I pushed myself to look deeper and find the parts of me that are kind, strong, creative, determined, funny, and resilient. The parts I rarely give credit to.

To get clarity, I made a mind map. I wrote down:

• where I see myself,

• what I want to change,

• and how I can get there.

It was confronting… but grounding. It gave me direction instead of self-criticism. The mind map helped me to understand that change won’t hapen quickly nor does it mean becoming someone different. It’s all about choosing small, meaningful actions and repeating those ations till they become habit and that new habit means change.

Now, going into the next week, I feel clearer. Not perfect — just clearer.

My Goals For The Week Ahead

So, rather than try to change everything about me I’m going to make small, manageable and sustainable changes – aiming to become a better version of the awesomeness that is me. Translate these changes into actions and my goals for the coming week are

💚 Health

• One 30-minute walk

• No alcohol on Friday

• Cook a healthy meal from scratch on Sunday

💛 Social Life

• Attend two social events (anything counts: a group, class, café meetup, hobby group, or community event)

🧠 Mind & Knowledge

• Expand my world knowledge (podcast, book, documentary — anything that feeds my mind)

🛠️ Business

• Finalise my business name

• Buy the domain

• Make one beautiful piece

• Photograph the process

Closing Thoughts

This week was messy and emotional, but honest. And maybe honesty is the real beginning of change.

I’m learning that improvement isn’t about tearing myself apart. It’s about seeing the whole picture — flaws and strengths — and moving forward anyway.

One small step. One honest week at a time. 🌿

If you feel stuck or in need of change ask yourelf this

« What truth about myself have I been avoiding – and what happens if I face it ? »

You don’t need to fix it, just notice it.

As Aristotle once said

« Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom »

Coming Next Week

Starting Small & Building Momentum - one step at a time